Feeling funny,gona be fine in time

In small matters trust the mind
In large ones the heart

- Sigmund Freud

So, at this moment I'm two days away from flying out and still have to say it hasn't hit me. But I'm that kinda person it won't get me till hours before i leave this house or maybe minutes before I get on that plane. Either way it'll be a tidal wave. Since i just started this post people haven't heard about all the things I've done over the past month and I'll get to that in the next post but first I have explain what's recently happened. We started out with 5 members(me included). Amanda(25) who is our facilitator, she's an amazingly strong person with so much worldly experience and an interest and respect for nature that's humbling.Aryn(18) who's so full of joy and excitement(makes me happy) and full of injuries that have happened and will happen(well i hope they don't happen Aryn). Caitlin(17 well 18 basically) who is always ready to laugh(makes me laugh with you not at you...well maybe sometimes at you) and get you laughing too. Maria(23) who is one of the most amazing people that i have meet, always there with a kind smile, words that strike the soul and just an outlook on life to be admired. But because of events in the group Maria has decided to leave. It's not because she hates us(I hope not) or that we hate her(I hope not) or that she's not strong enough(she's immensely strong), or any other reason i could think of. The reasons are her own and those may include the ones stated above or not or a mix of everything. But they're reasons that i know she will have the strength and courage and wisdom and tons of other words that describe how great people are to get through. The fact that she decided and made the decision not to come is proof in itself. How many people do you know, have done things that to them don't feel right but because of pride or other stupid ego influenced reasons just continue in vain and loose the reason for why they wanted to do what they wanted to do. I know this is the right decision for you Maria and I'm behind you 100%. If you decided to do this program next year i know you'll have an amazing experience and others will be greater for having the chance to travel with you. I'm defiantly sad that your not coming but such are the pains of life and i know for me this trip to Ghana will be even more of a challenge for will and determination. But that's why i came to this program to understand the struggle of our world and it's people. And by fu*k it'll be a hard one but I'm ready or more to say as ready as i can be. I know you will be too. I have only my deepest respect for you and even though i know we've been told not speak for the group,I know they wish you only the best. So this first post is dedicated to Maria, for all the ways she's made me stronger, kept our group organized, made us laugh, made us cry(not in a bad way but a good way), made us think and for all the things you've done for us. THANK YOU. May god bless your path and how you choose to follow that road. I promise when we get to Ghana we will say a prayer for you(well i don't know any but I'm sure Aryn can suggest one). This post may not make sense to a lot of the people reading it but i hope it makes sense for those i was writing it for. Well I'm tired right now and my hands are cramped so at the moment i shall type no more but in a few hours I'll be back. Thank you for the strength and courage that you've shown me I've always possessed.